Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Preach It!

Preach it from the rafters.

God's Word is magnificent and it needs to be told everywhere. From rooftops, pulpits, state houses, and even from those in power everywhere. God's Word is that important.

When I feel God around me, I praise His Glory. I pray in private, but all that is about to change. After coming back to God in 2016, I have felt Him change my life for the better. He has been slowly changing my perspective on preaching His Word and His Glory everywhere. I post Bible versus now online and I'm not afraid to pray for those in need online now either.

I pray it's enough, but the best is yet to come.

God has other plans for us. God has other plans for me. How do I know? God has shown me what praising him in public looks like. It will be scary at first and I know He will not abandon me when I continue to praise Him and His miraculous Glory before others. 

Have the courage!

I have been developing the courage to tell others about God. I let customers know who are enduring tragedies that I pray for them. It gives them hope God will work wonders in their lives like He has done in my life. Without God, I'd still be lost and without hope of a better future. God will do for you like He has done for me.

Get to know God.

Getting to know Him is simple. Set aside time for praying and Bible reading. When I set aside this time for God twice a day or more, I find myself living a better, healthier existence. The pieces of my life seem to fall into place at the exact moments they should. I also feel protected from whatever or whoever might be attacking me. The spiritual world is real and I now know that God's Word protects me from evil, in whatever form the attack comes at me in.

By getting to know God and preaching His Word to those around you, your life will change is drastic or subtle ways. My life is so different now and I praise Him for those changes. Yes, you will lose people because of your newfound preaching attitude online or in person, but were they really friends to begin with? Family has abandoned me too and I'm okay with that. I will survive and so will you.

Start online.

I started preaching and showing people God online. I've gained quite a following and my friendships have grown because of this 'Great Awakening' God has planned for His people. It's quite an awesome Movement he has gathered together. If you ever feel out of place, alone, or need someone to lean on, look up those who are also getting to know God.

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Armed with Faith

Armour up with faith and know that you are protected, loved, and healed in any calamity. Through God, anything is possible. 

Why does faith matter?

Faith matters most in any situation where one finds themselves unable to have faith in anything. When we have faith in someone, we know they will always be there for us no matter what. They're reliable and we know we can count on them to never let us down. When we have faith in God, it needs to be stronger than any faith you have ever had in your entire life. Faith doesn't come overnight, but when we have it, we know we can count on God for anything.

Lately, I forgot what faith was. I had a dream that I didn't have faith God could heal me or that I could heal others. I lost my faith. It was a devastating dream. I felt as if my entire world had fallen apart and there was nothing I could do about it. 

Fear vs Faith

Fear takes faith from us. Fear forces us to do things we would not otherwise do. Without faith, fear overrides us and takes over like a crazy driver ramming into walls and other people. Fear kills, literally. When we lose faith in what we can accomplish and what God has provided for us, we are on a highway heading nowhere. After discovering this 'nowhere', I didn't like where I was, and something had to be done about it. Fear took me for a ride and I felt off balance in life--nothing went quite right. 

Sound familiar?

When we are off God's plan for us, we become lost, heartbroken, and are out of whack with ourselves and those around us. It's awful to know when your life is driving on an unknown road, it becomes unnerving. I got a feeling of not being where I should be. Essentially, I felt lost. I felt as if I neglected to listen to what God wanted me to do. Instead, I just kept driving to nowhere. After a few dreams about not knowing where I was or what I was doing, I decided to stop doing what made me uncomfortable and ask God for clarification concerning my life.

Walk in faith. 

That is what was missing from my life. I needed to walk in faith and know that everything would turn out okay. I needed to rediscover my faith in the Lord again. We all move away from God, but coming back is so sweet when we finally listen to what He is saying and not to what our confusing mind wants. I have always listened to myself and it has always gotten me into trouble. 
No Anymore. I'm done. I'm done with feeling 'not quite right'. It was so uncomfortable that I finally stopped to listen to the heavenly voice I was always meant to listen to.


We need to believe there is something bigger than ourselves. I have always believed there was something larger than myself. I am just a small portion of what's out here. I'm a part of something larger than myself. It's good to know that I'm not in charge. 
If I was, we would all be in trouble...

Sunday, November 4, 2018

Sandy Day Mystery: Sapphire Theater Murder Book 3

Theaters can be murder!

Sandy and Rena are home for Thanksgiving. Bother reunite with their friend, Rodney who wants nothing to do with the murder that occurs before them at the Sapphire Theater. The deceased, Mr. Payne was a local builder and when Sandy discovers what he was building, she opens a hidden secret that could unearth an enormous corruption scandal.

Amazon Link:

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Evil follows me

All my life, I was plagued by evil.

The only way to protect myself from what traced after me on a constant basis was God's Word and through prayer. I discovered a pause from the shadows continuously observing me and that stood behind me. Ever since I was a young child, I was haunted by evil that lurked around every corner, under my bed, in the darkness, or within my home. I couldn't escape it and its persuasive words. No matter what I attempted to say or do, I was never able to fully remove myself from what walked with me. I still find myself encapsulated with it on a daily basis, but not as much as it used to.

How I received a reprieve from the shadows.

My childhood was rot with issues from the start. I dealt with abuse on all fronts. I dealt with evil on all fronts. The only thing that kept me going was knowing there was a force greater than myself looking out for me. Yes, I always knew something magnificent was always there watching over me to ensure I was safe and secure. My youth was strewn with difficulties like many, but what I saw hiding in the shadows curled my toenails ...and there wasn't anything I could do about those eyes watching my every move. I tried speaking with these things through psychic work and I tried reconciling with them and understanding them. Nothing ever seemed to work for me because I was befriending them and acting as if they were a part of my life and a part of my family. Nothing quelled my fear of what stood near the doorways or in the darkness surrounding me. I always felt them glaring back at me.

If you look too long at evil, it stares back.

I know this one from personal experience. I tried looking back at it, but it became uneasy for me as periods of time passed. I felt unsettled and uneasy with those eyes penetrating deep into my soul. They knew my every fear. I never felt okay with it. Being psychic and an empath was disheartening for me and I had to find another way to avoid these horrid beings from following me for days on end. 

I needed to find another way to keep them at bay.

God called me back to Him in August of 2016. That was when I found my pause from the shadowy figures circling around me. I found what God could do for me. I read His Word and prayed for these awful things to leave. Slowly they did walk away and stop haunting my life. I still see them, feel them, and hear them, but my life is not as torrid as it once was.

I prayed for them to go away.

Praying helped me tremendously with ridding my eyes and ears of these underworld beings. I was finally able to find sanctuary in God and in His love. I wasn't totally rid of what crawled toward me in the night, but I stopped feeling so alone all the time. I needed God to protect me from the darkness that promised to engulf me. Through John 3:16 and Ephesians 6:11-18, I felt safe for once in my life. I didn't feel like something was going to scratch my face and leave its mark upon my skin. I didn't feel all alone anymore without someone there to walk me through the numerous fears holding a tight grip on me. I now know that God will always be there to stave off what lingers in the darkness around me.

Through God, my life is now safe again!

If you are followed by evil, you know what I'm talking about. You understand the pain I have endured for years on end and the whispers telling you to die or become ill. You know whatit's like to go through what I have. There's help for this. It's God. It has always been God. The evil that walks among us doesn't want us to find God and His Love. That evil wants us to listen to it and do what it commands. Don't listen. Listen to God instead.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Excellerated Miracles

Want more miracles to take place in your life?

Are you in need of healing? Are you in need of a life changing event? Ask for the miracle through prayer. When we pray and feel the Glory of God, we are driving our words home. Pray out loud and show God you are in need of a miracle right now. Never give up and always back up what you are praying about through more prayer.

Crying in prayer helps me...

When I cry when praying, I know that I'm feeling God surround me. The Holy Spirit is there and listens to what I'm asking for. When I'm in need of a miracle, I pray for an extending period of time and those excellerated miracles do take place. It all begins with prayer.

Miracles can and do happen to millions of people around the world. When we fill ourselves with God's Word and we are truly in that state where we are asking for a miracle to take place in our lives, we will receive that miracle no matter what it is. As humans, we need to come to God in a humble state and in a forgiving state. We also need to ask for forgiveness for everything we have done to harm others and ourselves.

Do you see yourself in a golden light?

Do you see yourself with Love? If you don't, then open your eyes wider and ask God to help you see yourself with love and forgiveness. When we do not forgive ourselves, how can God help us with miracles. We need to let go of any and all weight that holds us back from the greatness that is God. He is the only saving Grace we will ever need. I know there are those people out there who do not believe in miracles, but I am here to say--Miracles do exist and when my back was hurting and after I prayed for the pain to leave--I could literally feel it lift right off of me.

Now that is a miracle.

First, believe in miracles and believe they can and will happen for you. Second, through God, anything is possible. If God can move mountains, He can provide a miracle for you. Third, we also have authority to do miracles for others through Him. Fourth, ask for healing through prayer and authority, but be commanding about it. Fifth, once we come to a place where miracles are possible, anything is possible. 

Never give up on yourself. God will never give up on you!

Be in God's Light and be in God's Love for miracles to take place. Nothing happens overnight and never give up on yourself or on God. God doesn't want you to ever give up. HE wants you to keep trying. It's like getting back on that bicycle or on that horse. If you fall off, dust yourself off, and get right back up on it.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Sandy Day Mystery: College Curse Murder Book 2

Curses can be Murder!

Sandy didn't realize that curses were real and alive on her college campus. Whatever it takes, she will find out who killed the two girls pulled out of the pond near the campus. Signs point at the Fry family, but she is not so sure once she speaks with Robert Fry. Whoever killed those girls so many decades ago, she delves deeper than she has in her entire life to find the killer.


Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Blessings Increase

Be Blessed in all you do.

In order for us to be blessed, we need to be humble. Through God, we can discover what blessings He has for us. Look around you and see for yourself. The world we live in can be difficult to navigate and it can be a reliable source for blessings. The people in our lives are blessings, our homes are blessings, our vehicles and businesses are blessings. Anything positive in your life can be a blessing.

How blessed are you?

When I pray and am in a humble state of mind, I feel God's Glory shine upon me. I also know how blessed I am no matter what winding road I'm walking on. By enduring difficult people, situations, and trouble spots, we learn how much God loves us and how truly blessed we are. God does not do anything to show us how much He hates us. Everything He does is out of love and through our blessings, we know how much God loves us.

By enduring tragedies in life, these show us what we need to feel blessed about. Hard times reveal to us God's blessings. Know you are loved and blessed all the time. Anything that hurts us to the core teaches us about blessings. The death of a loved one teaches us a lot about life and about God. Injuries teach us about staying humble and watchful over our actions. God never does anything without teaching us about His love and His Glory. When we come to the belief that God is at fault for everything devastating in our life, we are no feeling His love or His blessings. In essence, you are blaming God for everything that has gone wrong in your life. Sometimes we need to take a look in the mirror and see what actually went wrong.

Pray daily for His blessings to shine upon you. 

I pray as often as necessary for His love to blanket me. Through prayer, we come to the understanding that God does love us and He does want the best for us. It is up to us if we want the best for ourselves. What blessings do you want for yourself today?

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Pray For Restoration

Romans 15:13
Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost. 

Definition of Restoration:

We need to pray for restoration for not only ourselves, but for the world around us. Many of us want what we had in our childhoods. We had more freedoms, more time outside, and a whole lot more family surrounding us with love. 

What has happened?

We have left God out of everything in our lives. God was taken out of schools, businesses, government, and our homes. When this takes place we are left with awful feelings and regret over things not completed. Once God leaves, things go absolutely haywire. As people, we find our lives lost and without hope of ever finding our true selves again. 

We need to restore ourselves through God and understand that we need HIM more than ever. We need to let GOD back into our country and our world. When God leaves, everything falls apart.

Why does this happen?

This takes place when we forget where we came from. We have forgotten how to love our fellow human being. We have forgotten how to love ourselves unconditionally. Once we come back to that love in HIM, we will discover what we've lost. Other people are not the enemy and those attempting to divide us are the real enemy. For many, they cannot decide who that enemy is so everyone around them becomes the enemy. 

Life doesn't have to be this way. 

When I was growing up, neighbors helped one another and they were happy to do it. Neighbors were friendly and they offered assistance whenever it was needed. In today's world, people have become selfish and self-centered and they don't want to do anything for anybody. They believe they should get something out of helping others instead of doing something from the goodness of their own heart.

In order to be kind, you have to give something to someone in need.

It's sad. 
It's really sad. 
I still offer my free assistance to whomever wants it. To who ever needs it. I do it because I still care about other people.  We need one another in order to survive. I think we forget that... a lot.

We are all in this together.. remember that!

Tuesday, September 25, 2018


Matthew 6:15
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. 

Forgiveness is Divine. 

Forgiveness offers us a chance to release what has been held inside us for God only knows how long. To forgive someone is to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness unburdens us of what hinders our growth and it allows us to understand why it's so important. 

If God can forgive, why can't we?

As humans we choose not to forgive other people who have wronged us. We would rather wallow in our own self-pity, self-anger, & self-frustration until it digs in so deep we have no way out. We choose to stay in anger until death or until we realize forgiveness is the only way out of our own insanity. That's right... it's insane to not forgive other people who have wronged us.

Forgive those around you!

Negative emotions are not sanity. Negative emotions will nest and have babies, and cause more issues you cannot overcome unless... you forgive yourself and those around you for the hurt they caused.

You will never, ever be free unless you forgive yourself from holding onto a wrong. When we carry it with us like a badge of honor, you are telling other people how you cannot forgive, how you are unwilling to forgive, how you hold onto the opposite of love because of self-pride. 
What has it gotten you?

Self hate is where it gets us. I know this all to well and when we finally see what forgiveness can do for us, we are set free!

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

The Biggest Spiritual War Since Christ's Time!

We are in the largest spiritual war since Christ walked the Earth. 

It's the oldest war between Good vs. Evil ever and this largest war is happening in our lifetime. It's up to us to decide which side will win and which side will lose. How will this war turn out?

We Will Win, of course. God always wins...

Evil is being held accountable right now as we speak. The enemy has declared war upon the army of God. We need to armor up and get on the front lines and win this war. No excuses. Stop sitting this one out. In order to win, we need to fight for the army of God.

Ephesians 6:10-18 = Armour of God

Isaiah 25:8

He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the Lord hath spoken it. 

All Systems Are Under Judgment!

 What these systems are: All governments around the world and everything that has been in control for decades/centuries. These systems are corrupt and need to be brought down by us and God. HE doesn't accept their evil doings anymore and they need to be destroyed. 

Our world will be different and our lives are about to change for the better. The mass exodus of evil is astounding and evil is being shown to us throughout the world. The curtain is being pulled back. We will see these corrupt people brought to justice.

Those within God's Army are watching all this unfold.

Don't Be Fearful!

Stay in integrity, love, and honor. Know that God is in control. There isn't nothing God cannot do for us and for our children. Every evil deed will not go unpunished. Watch your step and know that whatever you have done will be revealed to the world. Stay in prayer and know you are a part of something greater than yourself!


Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Sandy Day Mysteries: Knight Library Murder Book #1

Libraries can be Murder!

College life isn’t what Sandy Day expected. She attends classes all day and practically lives at the library all night. Psychology is harder than she previously thought it would be. At least her best friend, Rena is right across the hall from her so she isn’t all alone. While at the library studying one
night, the peculiar sight of a young man fleeing the library catches Sandy’s eye. When she discovers Pauline’s body soon afterward, she dives head first into her first murder mystery.

 A Short Cozy Mystery 


Tuesday, September 4, 2018

A Time For Everything

There's always a time for everything. Time touches everyone and everything. Nothing evades time. We never have enough time. We always run out of time. Time ticks away at not only us, but everything around us. There is nothing we can do about. We are slaves to time. We must adhere to time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a season for everything.
There is a time to be born.
There is  time to die.
There is a time to plant,
There is a time to harvest.
There is a time to kill.
There is a time to heal.
There is a time to break down.
There is a time to build up.
There is a time to weep.
There is a time to laugh.
There is a time to mourn.
There is a time to dance.
There is a time to cast away stones.
There is a time to gather stones together.
There is a time to embrace.
There is a time to refrain from embracing.
There is a time to get.
There is a time to lose.
There is a time to keep.
There is a time to cast away.
There is a time to rend.
There is a time to sew.
There is a time to keep silence.
There is a time to speak.
There is a time to love.
There is a time to hate.
There is a time of war.
There is a time of peace.

Knowing the what time it is very important. Time never stops. Time never relinquishes us. Time never gives up. Time goes on and on. We are supposed to adhere to what time it is. Everything has a season. Seasons never last long. They are supposed to teach us what it is we must learn. Time teaches us. Others teach us. What are you here to learn?


I say wrap all of this in LOVE and know that you are loved. Love is never ending much like time. Love goes on forever much like time. Learn to love and you will never be alone again. Through God, I have learned what LOVE is. LOVE is something that cannot be broken or lost. LOVE is forever much like the time of our lives.

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Vanity: A Biblical Perspective

2 Kings 17:15
And they rejected his statutes, and his covenant that he made with their fathers, and his testimonies which he testified against them; and they followed vanity, and became vain, and went after the heathen that were round about them, concerning whom the Lord had charged them, that they should not do like them.

It's up to us whether we choose to be vain or choose to be humble. Vanity comes from within. It's prideful and filled with egocentric values. To live a life of joy, live it outside of vanity.

 Giving up what we desire offers us a chance to receive what is good for us. What we want as humans is not necessary what God wants for us. I never knew the winding path that vanity takes us down until I shined a light on it and saw how difficult the path to vanity was. I noticed that I thought I needed certain things in my life to be happy. How wrong was I to think like that. Commercials on TV and people who tell you what you need is not God's way. It's a treacherous road that nobody needs to travel.

God's Word is what matters.

Job 15:31
Let not him that is deceived trust in vanity: for vanity shall be his recompence.

Job 15:35
They conceive mischief, and bring forth vanity, and their belly prepareth deceit.

Deceit is a lonely, long road to walk down. It brings heartache and there are obstacles you will encounter and will find uncomfortable. Life is not about being in discomfort all the time. It's not about fighting, arguing, knowing you're right in every situation. Life is worth living, loving, and knowing God loves you and knowing His Word. That is what matters. 

Know that vanity is not a precious word or symbol. It's about narcissism and self desire. It has nothing to with being in the presence of the Lord or being happy. If things make you happy, eventually they will halt making you happy. Happiness stems from being satisfied with who you are and loving who you are. Objects are not happiness. 

Job 35:13
Surely God will not hear vanity, neither will the Almighty regard it.

How can you know who you are if you are neck deep in vanity?
No one will ever know who you are if you see yourself as such. When we align ourselves with self-deceit, we are fooling ourselves in believing vanity is a part of life. 
Be happy to be without that hideous folly.

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Unmasking The Ungodly

Revelation 10:6-7

And sware by him that liveth for ever and ever, who created heaven, and the things that therein are, and the earth, and the things that therein are, and the sea, and the things which are therein, that there should be time no longer:
But in the days of the voice of the seventh angel, when he shall begin to sound, the mystery of God should be finished, as he hath declared to his servants the prophets.
The one and only God created Heaven and Earth and many have forgotten that.
His Word IS Final... it shall be finished when God says it is finished.
Daniel 12:4
But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased. 
Daniel was asked to shut up the words and seal the book until the end.  
Only God knows when the end is and right now in this day and age God is unmasking the ungodly. They are scurrying about without knowledge of what God is doing upon this planet. God is showing us the evil that has been planning, running about, and destroying His work. God has had enough and is now revealing to us how Justice is dished out.
Acts 2:17-18
And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams: And on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy:

His Spirit is being poured out over all flesh. Many are coming back to God in sections. They are beginning to see what God has to offer and who He is. His Light is will guide our way and His way will show us the Light. Sons and daughters shall prophesy and they are. Numerous visions and dreams can be found all over the internet. They are spoken by actual people who have come back to God or are coming to Him for the first time in their life.

With Prophesy comes His Spirit. Without Him, no one will follow His way.

Ephesians 4:14-15
That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;
But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Evil has taken hold of His people and they are being deceived by lies and treachery. This shall not be no more, says the Lord. His will will sow seeds of love and truth within those who listen. Our head is Christ and in Him we shall know and see the way of how to behave, love, understand, know, and feel. God is the way and the truth and in Him, we shall know Him.

Many have closed eyes to what is being said and shown, but they are not lost. They can come to Him and know Him if they soften their necks. Be not stiffed necked and know God.

The reunification of family, knowledge that was lost, reading the Bible, knowledge is returning, schools will come back to God, people are seeing what evil has done to our children (killing/enslaving them), God's people will show you the path. Don't fret. Don't be afraid.

Lift up your head and Repent -- Read -- Pray. 

This is the only way to know God. 
Repent of your past indiscretions because Repentance is the only way to Him!

Through His forgiveness, we are unmasking the ungodly within ourselves. This is the way to a better, happier life. Life will never be complete and utter peace. We do not learn from peace. We learn from strife. Through God, that strife is easier to endure. Through God, that unease is easier. Find a way to Him and not because of a difficulty that upsets you. Go to Him throughout the difficulties and the ease. You will find He is there through both.

Ephesians 4:16
From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

The Body Is Christ. 

Everything works as it should according to the Lord through Him. 
Without Him, nothing fits together perfectly, we aren't healed properly, we don't see clearly, we oppose anything good in our lives, we are blinded by the truth, we walk dangerous paths, we speak unruly words, we doubt ourselves and those around us, we lie, we cheat, we take what is not ours spiritually and physically, we condemn the righteous, we mock the holy, we adhere to opposing doctrine, we work opposite of Him, and most of all, we turn away from God.

That is no way to move through this life -- to turn away from the one who made us. 

He loves us, does everything for us, listens to us, is always there for us, carries us through tough times, anoints us, puts prophesy into us, works wonders through us, acknowledges us as His children, protects us--His children, and most of all He adores us. It might not feel like it, but He does. 

God tests us and this is just another test we need to conquer!  

Pray for strength, pray for reassurance, pray for truth, pray for light, pray for your family and the world.
Is this our time to come back to God?

Yes, it is time to return to our creator.


Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Light Exposes Darkness

Move through the darkness to see the light. This is the only way to understand where you came from and how far you have traveled. The darkness reveals your innermost, darkest secrets and your most inner, sensitive emotions. When you experience your inner darkness, the best of you begins to emerge. This darkness enables you to grow into a beautiful butterfly, but first you must sit in the darkness and get to know that side of yourself. Whether good, bad or indifferent, understand your dark side to the best of your ability.

Once you have gone through your darkness, you can step into the light and see what you have become. We learn and grow in the darkness. We bring others and lessons to us. Those others are lessons or people. As a sensitive person, I bring many to me and through understanding, I know what I want in my life now.
It’s neither darkness nor people that held me in the dark. I rode that fine line between the two. There is a fence between darkness and light. The dark cannot be discarded but the light can be fully embraced. I walk the line and know who I am and what I’m made of. It’s because I have walked both and I have embraced both at the same time.
I am both the darkness and the light. I’d rather have the light reside inside my body, mind and soul. I know how far I can go and what is ahead of me. I will never know what the future holds for me, but I do know if I hold the light near, I can help others walk through their darkness and into the light. That is not to say I will never visit the darkness from time to time, I will and still do. I actually prefer the light.
The darkness taught me about myself and what I’m capable of. I know the dimness and no one else will walk in my shoes unless I invite them in. One other person in this world knows my darkness. Outsiders will never thoroughly understand what I’ve been through until they walk in my shoes. The only other person I let in is my husband and he held my hand throughout it all without doubting me for an instant. He already had been through his own darkness and he taught me how to help others get through theirs.
Without my husband, I don’t know where I’d be now. Most likely dead or in a ditch somewhere. My inner demons almost took hold of me and strangled me to death. I allowed it to happen on a certain level. I didn’t need to walk through this alone. I now know everyone needs someone there to tell them they are going to be okay. When we walk alone, we learn to fear ourselves and what our minds are capable of. Those inner dark entities run wild and some overtake us from time to time. It’s up to us to finally put our foot down and tell ourselves that they will never rule us. No longer will I become victim to my own dark inner thoughts of suicide.
Yes, suicide has played inside my head on numerous occasions, but I never allowed it to stop allowing my husband or the light in. Throughout it all, I can still let the light in as I traveled through that dark tunnel. That is the point of the whole thing: to learn how to live in the light while dealing with our darkness. This can be done with confidence and we all can live happier, fuller, more productive lives if we learn to move from the darkness and into the light. Learning this can be trickier than you think because the darkness constantly wishes to devour you and your life. Never allow this to happen. You cannot allow this to happen. Always ask for help when you are drowning in that deep bog of darkness.

That bog has many creatures living in it that would love to drag us/you back down. I liken it living in hell. We must resist our inner demons and overcome them. When they get loose, they are chaotic and challenging to our life. They can and will do anything to hold us back. I told myself that binding them and putting duct tape over their mouths worked. It does when you are persistent at keeping them at bay. They must never be loose for too long because if they are, you will lose the battle for a while until you’ve had enough of their crap.
You are in charge of your emotions. You are the one that needs to tell those inner demons to sit down and shut up. It’s up to you to enforce the rules in your head. It’s your head after all. You are the one that needs to make these demons sit in the corner for a time out. Some will disobey you and that is when you put forth harsher rules and harsher consequences. You need to obey your own rules too. Once you stray, so will the inner demons. Having rules in place allows you more freedom to walk through life and this will allow you get through it a little easier and a little happier. Negative thoughts have their own ideas and will come up with new ways to bring you down.
Never allow this to happen because it happened to me. My past wayward thoughts continuously made up things to drag me back into the darkness. That is where they play and live. They are stronger in the darkness and once they have you there these wayward thoughts will make up new things to force you to do things you never thought you’d ever do. Stop allowing this to happen. Stop allowing these thoughts to override your good sense. You have positive thoughts in your head and tell those thoughts to quiet the negative ones. And don’t forget to breathe.
Breathing brings you back to the present and allows you to gain hold of those negative thoughts and stop them in their tracks. This is the only way I have discovered how to by-pass those nasty little thoughts that constantly want to harm our well-being. When you suddenly feel stressed, stop, and breathe. It will center you and allow positive thoughts to rise to the surface. I love it when the positive wins. It always will because the negative doesn’t have what it takes to live in the light. Always live and breathe in the light and take the time to breathe deeply.

The darkness doesn’t want you to breathe. It wants you to struggle on a continuous basis. I stopped allowing that to happen a while ago, but I’m human and the darkness does try to win from time to time. I know when it comes on now and by putting a stop to it before it overtakes me is key. You can stop it before your mind determines you’re a complete loon. You’re not looney and you do have the power to halt any transgressions your mind comes up with unless there is serious mental illness going on. Seek the help of a licensed professional if that is the case.
This is for all of us mortals that can stop it on our own, but don’t have the proper tools to do so. It’s not all that simple when starting out. It’s complicated and you will fall down constantly. I know I did. When we fall, it’s up to us to pick ourselves right back up and continue forward. That is the only way we will learn from the experience. Once you start to catch on when certain thoughts creep in, stop and breathe before dealing with those pesky negative thoughts. Breathing is the first thing all of us should do. It’s essential to life. That is how we encircle and capture those thoughts before they get a deep grip on us.
Once they have a hold, we need to take immediate action before our entire well-being is held down. We will lose control, cry, shout, and scream at whomever is around us. That is not the way to behave around others when our awful thoughts capture us in their grip. Losing control is not our path. Our path should be filled with light and butterflies or whatever else you love to be around. Stay in control once you learn to inhale and exhale on a continuous basis. Learn to control those inner demons with everything you have within. Learn to love the person you are because your path is yours and yours only. It’s not for anyone else to dictate.

I wanted to write this so it will help others move along their path in life. I’m a sensitive person with a high level of empathy and I knew I was different from an early age. It’s hard to say at what age I knew something was unusual, but I can tell you I thought I was totally, absolutely, positively alone until I met others with similar thoughts and feelings when I was around the age of thirty. That was when I started on this path to understand and know who I truly was inside. Up until then, I was lost in my own darkness without a light to help guide my way.
These inner negative thoughts brought me to my knees on more than one occasion and I had no weapon or knowledge to use against them to find sanity. In the beginning, I cried, a lot. That was how I managed my life, through crying. I was told it would cleanse me inside and out. It certainly did that, but it never stopped these horrible thoughts from overtaking my mind and soul. I began to feel lost in the darkness with no way out. I was sinking fast and couldn’t stop myself from falling deeper, ever deeper.
Finally, I met other sensitive people that were fighting their own inner demons. They wrestled with their negative thoughts until they surrendered. I didn’t understand what that was all about until I learned how to calm down instead of overreacting to everything around me. The opposite of calm is where I was. I hated my life and didn’t know what calm and serenity was. I desperately needed to know how to stop these demons from taking over and running my life into the ground. That was how I lived. These thoughts controlled me at every level and after a while, I stopped and listened to what my friends and my thoughts had to say.

Listening to my thoughts was new and different to me. Many had negative aspects to their words. I wanted my thoughts to be nice and not say mean things all the time. As time went by, I discovered how many different voices there were inside. Many were from my past trying to drag me back down to hell. I refused to go back to that horrible place. I was meant for better things and helping myself was number one priority at the time, even though I was a young mother feeling alone almost all the time. I hated feeling alone. It’s one of the most despicable feelings in the world.
I began to learn many new ways to cope with my inner thoughts and soon, I came to the conclusion that I had to learn to handle some of them in a different manner. I yelled and screamed at them and they yelled back louder. That didn’t work what-so-ever. They had louder voices than I did. I couldn’t deal so I bent inside myself and tried to keep some stability. On the outside, I looked okay, but on the inside, I was dying. I was dying a terrible death and wanted to commit suicide on many occasions throughout my life. That was no way to live with two young kids under my charge.

As I watched others succeed in overriding their inner thoughts, I realized that I could accomplish this too. I needed determination and authority under my belt. I worked at it daily and hourly when I could between being a mother, a wife, a cook, a maid, etc. Slowly, but surely it was working for me. It took years for me to learn how to step outside myself and look within. I was a total mess inside my body. I needed to fix it and fast.
Years went by as I stumbled and fell many times over. I couldn’t seem to get a handle on everything all at once. ‘Deal with one thing at a time’ was what I heard. I had to deal with one voice at a time. I started to do this as friend told me to do this with ‘ease and grace’. I was actually beginning to get somewhere, but not without falling numerous times on my face. Every time I fell, I pushed myself back up, sometimes slower than previous times. I wanted it to all stop.
All I wanted was to give up. I would fall down and stay down for days or weeks at time and take everything personal. I cried through my pain. I think I cried myself a river during these dark days. It is dreadful to look back on now. I cannot believe how weak I felt as these inner mumblings dragged me down. I’d crawl at times and there was nothing else I could do. They ran my life and I allowed it to happen.
I was ragged and aging years before my time. My body was tired and my soul was overly tired. I didn’t want to continue living during the years I endured their wrath. They hated me and I gave in time and time again. I hated myself for allowing it to happen. I didn’t have the strength to fight back. My husband kept telling me to fight them off and tell them all to ‘shut up’. But I did not have it in me to do that, until one day I started to bark back. I had had enough of their crap.
It was a slow process at first. It took years for me to gain some kind of confidence to fight back. These old voices were still in charge of my life and I kept falling down a lot. When I fell down, it was all mental and emotional damage that was taking place. I took it all out on my husband because I was not strong enough to fight these beastly thoughts off. I was weak and wanted to die many times over.
After talking it over with my husband for the millionth time, I visited with my friends that had already overcome these awful thoughts themselves. They told me how to work it out and how to stop listening to them. I just wasn’t ready to stop dropping to the floor every time one said a horrible thing to me. I couldn’t deal and cried on my husband’s shoulder too many times to count. I didn’t want to fight it alone anymore. I needed help and that was when my husband stepped in and told me what to do. He had no idea what I was dealing with, but he wanted to help me get through it. His love was stronger than the demonic thoughts inside me.

How does one fight off invisible voices inside their head? First, you have to know each voice and identify it. Once you do that, then bind them one at a time and slap duct tape over their mouths. This is the only way to shut them up. Once you have accomplished that task, then you can start having peace. That quiet within my head became deafening to me. It still is. I have to admit that once I took the time to stop the voices from talking, I discovered there was a still small voice left which was mine. I needed to listen to that one voice and adhere to what it told me. That was the one voice I wanted to hear. I felt it was possibly God. I loved hearing just one tone and I began to learn from it.
That one voice had been drowned out by thousands of others constantly talking. It was marvelous to just hear one tiny voice among others that told me how awful I was. This one voice told me how wonderful I was and how loved I was. What an awesome voice to listen to. I soon learned to push aside the other voices and just listen to the one that had been stifled for far too long. I wanted me back and not those others who had been telling me what a terrible person I was.
I was finally finding me buried deep inside myself for so long. I was going to discover who I truly was. I was highly sensitive and heard these other voices for a reason. I needed to help others and it was then that the spiritual world opened up for me more than ever before. I was settling into who I was as I listened to what others had gone through. This needed to happen in order for me to help others find their own still small voice. We all have a voice and it’s up to us to listen to it and flush others out. I was different from others and I was still recognizing this even as my friends told me I was not special. We’re all special in our own way, but I needed to find my place in life and how I could help others.
Being a Leo, I thought I deserved to know everything all at once. How wrong I was as life slapped me in the face many times over. Everything takes time and I now know how humble I needed to be. God ensured I stayed humble too. I needed to be happy with who I was and stop trying to be something I wasn’t. I’m me and no one else. I needed to be satisfied with that for once in my life. We are all individuals and that is all we are. Each are unique in our own way. It just took me a long time to discover that. I thought I needed to copy others to find me. It was inside of me all along. 

My voice will never be ignored again. I must never fall down because of what an inner thought says or what others tell me. I will never change for anyone else ever again in my life. It brought on feelings doubt and misery. I hated being miserable living in a bog I disliked. That bog taught me a lot. Everyone stands in their own bog of misery. Some people have learned to hide it better than others. I hid it for a long time. Very few people knew I was a sensitive soul because I’m so well protected, not only by me, but by God. After hearing the call back to God, I turned back in August of 2016 and never looked back. I needed to listen to someone who knew the truth and not a human pretending to know their truth.
This has been a long, complicated journey for me. I couldn’t have traveled it without my husband by my side. Without his hand to hold, I would have wandered in the darkness for the rest of my life. He was my LIGHT in the dark. After walking through this with me, I’m not letting him go. He saved my life and I would not be here today without his tenacity and love. Find that one person who will never allow you to walk through this alone and never let them go. You will find that walking with someone makes the journey that much better.